sadly, we can never turn back time. once the moment\'s lost, it\'s gone forever. i wish with all my heart that i could rewound the hands of the clock, freeze it that day i said yes believing its the right thing to do. i wish i could make those three letters stand for a NO... then maybe i would still be with the person i love and who loves me back...

i know i would never fit in in your life. i\'m different. at first, you opened yourself to me. or was it an illusion? my mind playing a trick on me to make me believe i was welcome, that you would in turn love me and treat me as if i was made out of the same cloth you were.

i tried to fit-in in your world. lived my life the way you did. i am ignorant of your ways and was blinded by your light. i extinguished mine, believing yours would be enough for the two of us. and since i know not what you want me to be, i made myself invisible: to fit-in. to be loved. i was just a small dot on your existence. negligible.

after sometime, i found my way in the world you live in. i just couldn\'t simply be under your shadow. i needed to breathe, stand on my own. my steps still falter, i am still wobbly when left on my own. but i am learning. i found my feet, my voice.

perhaps its just in my mind again but you seem to resent the fact that i\'ve grown. you make me feel as if i\'m still an outcast. at times a non-entity. oh, you talk to me yes. still aware that i\'m in your world. but it seems i\'m still not welcome, oh you\'d love for me to stay. but you prefer me to just sit back and let you be. be the old me when i first came into your life. timid, unsure, push-over.

see, that\'s not me. i could have been that for a while but not for long. i was trying to thread slowly on your world, trying to fit in. but everyone needs their space to grow, be who they are. you still know better than me, that\'s a fact. but that doesn\'t mean i couldn\'t dream and do better for myself. that\'s just simply in me, never settle.

i wish the yes could have meant a no. then maybe we wouldn\'t be in this shit right now. nah, my shit. your world is still as it is, it revolves on you. but i couldn\'t change it now. but i could get out of it. and i wish it would be soon. i wish someone would pull me away from your world and into a better one... for now, i\'m still pushing myself out...

daneli's whining
|5:44 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by

.:: daneli ::.
I'm no angel, but neither a bitch.

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