Thursday, July 28, 2005
` 8:33 PM
what are the things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play?
~ reading books and anything that catches my fancy
~ writing just about anything
~ watching my favorite shows
What lowers your stress / bloodpressure / anxiety level?
~ talking with "Big Daddy"
~ calling my mom
~ hugs and kisses from my kids
~ being with my friends
~ chocolates
~ coffee jelly of jollibee
Tag 5 friends and ask them to post it in theirs.
I'm tagging:
paulo
val
jinggay
mark
art
daneli's whining
|8:33 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Sunday, July 24, 2005
` 4:50 PM
I logged-in on time. Was on default for a minute. Then went on and pressed available. Or so i thought. 5 minutes after, Forcedesk is calling me, I'm on Aftercall!!! Grrrr...
daneli's whining
|4:50 PM|
1 angel/s dropped by
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
` 6:28 PM
eto ang friendster horoscope ko... hmmn...
Taking orders is never easy, but sometimes it's easier than giving them. Think about that before you give the person in charge a hard time, even if you're less than tickled with the way they're handling it themselves.
The Bottom Line
Sometimes what you say and what they hear are totally different. So it goes.
In Detail
You're in charge -- or if you're not, you'll make whoever is in charge wish you were, so that they wouldn't have to argue with you about it. It's not that you don't respect authority -- far from it. You just have a very set opinion on how things should go, and when they don't go along that way, you have an equally set opinion on the punishment to be meted out. That said, if you're not driving, do your best to be fair-minded to the driver. Oh, and be patient, please.
**** okay. i guess i am that person. yes, i heard it. i'll be patient.
daneli's whining
|6:28 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Sunday, July 17, 2005
` 12:27 AM
Age is other things, too. It is wisdom, if one has lived one's life properly. It is experience and knowledge. And it is getting to know all the ways the world turns, so that if you cannot turn the world the way you want, you can at least get out of the way so you won't get run over.
--- Miriam Makeba, Singer and Human Rights Activist
i'm a year older. but am i wiser? i believe so. i may not be the wisest person but personally speaking, i think i have learned much the past year of my life. i am not closer to my dreams, i falter with my steps, but i still have them. i still know what i need to do. and one day, i'll get to it. i know i will.
the past 25 years has been one long journey for me. i don't know how long this borrowed time will last. looking back, there are some things that i wish i did differently, things i wish i didn't do, things i wish i did. but if you'd ask me, everything's just fine. i may have made mistakes, but i learned from them. i have been hurt, but it made me stronger. it made me the person that i am.
surely, not everyone likes the person that i am. but i have learned that i can never please everyone. there will always be comments and whisperings on how i do things, how i behave but i realized that this life is too short trying to meet every person's expectations of me. i have to live my life, not the idea of other persons on how my life should be.
i have been blessed in so many ways. so many people have touched my life and made it richer, fuller. these people are my angels.
i do believe that my life has been planned years and generations before me. one day, it will unfold before my eyes and things will fall exactly where they should be.
to my "Big Daddy" up there, a big thank you for a blessed 25 years of existence. i do hope you won't get tired of my constant whining and endless requests...
daneli's whining
|12:27 AM|
1 angel/s dropped by
Friday, July 15, 2005
` 2:38 AM
i'll miss seeing you on my shift though. but that's okay. you deserve it.
's whining
|2:38 AM|
0 angel/s dropped by
` 2:24 AM
got this from http://jed.i.ph/blogs/jed/. it's part of the speech of Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios in Commencement on June 12, 2005 in Stanford.
again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
*** i guess i haven't found the connections yet..
Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
***hmmn... i've got to start thinking what i would love to do.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
***i need to do this. i really must.
the text above are just part of the entire speech. you may want to read the whole speech, just go to the link above.
daneli's whining
|2:24 AM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Thursday, July 14, 2005
` 11:39 PM
i'm a selfish bitch!
daneli's whining
|11:39 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
` 9:48 PM
can someone help me see that the glass is half-full instead of me looking at it as half-empty?
self-doubt and self-pity can really throw someone off her world.
need to get back on track again...
still, the glass seems half-empty...
daneli's whining
|9:48 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
` 4:45 PM
your friendship is a welcome surprise. a wonderful birthday gift.
thanks.
daneli's whining
|4:45 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
` 5:55 PM
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
daneli's whining
|5:55 PM|
1 angel/s dropped by
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
` 11:23 PM
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills
daneli's whining
|11:23 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
` 11:55 PM
my birthday's coming up. i usually do not have a plan for the said day. well, except going to church. this year though, upon the idea of friendship jon, i was planning on spending the day at home. with my mom. to make it her day instead of it being my day. why? because on the said day, she did risked her life by giving birth to me. and i wanted to thank her by making it a special day for her. as fate would have it, i have work on that day. unless my PTO will be approved, then i could go home and spend the day with her and the whole family.
my college friend also asked me for my plan on the said day. well, i would gladly go out with the whole group if i could. and there's my high school barkada. and my PS friends... whoops, my boardmates! i wish i'm a millionaire i could treat all of you guys...
if left to me, i'd like to spend the day at the beach. just watching the waves, lying on the sand and waiting till the sun comes down. just like that. of course with food and refreshments on the side. music and good company ain't bad. who would i want to spend the day with? hmmn. tough one. given five choices here it is:
1. my mom
2. my bro
3. dina
4. len
5. angel
not that i do not want to spend the day with all the other people who i love dearly. so why them?
Mom: as i said earlier, the said day should be about her. and i love talking with her, just being with her. it feels as if being with her is the safest place for me.
My bro: i love this guy. and i want to talk to him, really talk to him.
Dina: my third-half. if there's such a thing. i miss her. with her and len on the beach, that's fun! and lots and lots of talking and bonding session... i can be very emotional with her or laughing so hard my tummy aches...
Len: my other third-half. this girl makes me see what i do not wish to see. and still makes me feel good about being myself. she makes me sane. and makes me believe.
Angel: well, i just love talking with angel. about nothing and everything. and we both love the beach. i wish to watch the sunset with angel, to just hang around with each other. and i want angel to meet them: my mom, my bro, dina and len.
if there's gonna be a 6th person, that would be my Dad. sorry dad, not that i love you less.
so to you my friends, if you want to make this birthday a really special one for me, maybe you could shoulder the cost of this trip. just over the weekend... in puerto galera for 7 persons... wish!
daneli's whining
|11:55 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Monday, July 04, 2005
` 8:35 PM
last night, i rode a taxi. initially, i did not want to ride the one that stopped before me coz i prefer looking for an MGE or R&E or similar cabs because the drivers are more professional and it is safer. but that taxi ride was one wake up call for me.
before riding a cab, i usually check the plate number, the cab's name and text my mom those info. last night i did not do my routine checks. i did not even looked at the driver. i just went in and sat at the passenger seat. so, there i was, riding a cab. after passing the RCBC building, i just realized that we were inching our way on the road as if there is a traffic jam. jeepneys, private cars and other taxis are simply passing us by.
that was when i took a look at my cab driver. and i was dumbfounded. i did not know what to say or how to react. i wanted to cry. luckily, i was able to hold back my tears.
i did not know if i should talk to him or ask him the questions playing on my mind. so for a few more seconds i kept my silence. however, anger and helplessness got the better of me and i talked to him.
manong is 74 years old. with wrinkled hands, a head full of white hair, and an old man's pair of old eyeglasses. that's the reason why we were cruising our way along gil puyat avenue in slow motion. my driver, so polite addresses me as ma'am! i wanted to cry. on how unfair this world is. i can't imagine my lolo or my lola calling me ma'am. or having my lolo drive me at 2:30 AM!
he said his wife passed away. he has children who now have their own lives and doesn't give a shit about him. he has no choice but to earn a living to support himself. i asked him why at night and why driving? he said that he has been driving a taxi since his younger years and that it just so happened that the owner of the taxi and the regular driver of the taxi had a drinking session. the owner then offered him to drive the taxi out for the night as he usually ask for permission to drive the taxi out if no one's using it. the owner even told him that if he won't, he would never be able to ask him favors to take the taxi out! so he did. he started driving around at 6 PM that day.
on the buendia fly-over, we were crawling our way up. he can't see clearly. the lane was dark and there was no other car in sight to give us extra light. i didn't feel fear. instead, i wanted to shout and to cry for the unfairness of it all! i again pointed this out to him. how hard it is for him to do this kind of job. but he said he knows no other way.
if i could have transferred our place in a quezon city or in sta.mesa at that instance, i would have. why? so we could have a longer travel time, i want to get to know this man. sadly, i was in front of our place in a matter of minutes. my ride with this kind old man is done.
i wanted to do something for him. all i could do was give him the only money i have. a mere P200. i wish i could have done something more. all throughout our conversation, he's calling me ma'am. i have never felt so small and so incapable of helping someone than in that moment.
so engrossed was i in our conversation, i forgot to ask for his name. i do not even know the taxi's name. i think it was Nafnes or Nanes. i'm not sure. all i know is that he lives in sta.mesa. i just hope i would see him again. get more information. do something more.
maybe not everything that he told me was true. maybe he was playing with my emotions. but i do not see any reason why. if he is, he could have driven off without calling me back because i gave him 4x what the taximeter shows. he wanted to give the money back. i can't forget his eyes, the sadness there. nor the wrinkled hands that felt so warm.
I can't fathom the fact that children, cared and provided for in their younger years could turn their back on parents that now needs them. maybe his children have their reasons. maybe he was not a good father. still, he chooses to work than beg. that says a lot for me.
having been on that cab made me realized how blessed i am in my life. made me appreciate all that i have. maybe that extra P150 could provide him a meal for a day or two. maybe in that way i was able to help him. but in reality, he was the one who helped me. what he gave me on that cab ride is one hell of a life lesson. i guess that is Big Daddy's way of showing me what i needed to do.
so friends, if you happen to ride a cab, please take a look at your driver. talk to him. maybe he has a story to tell. or maybe, he has a lesson for you. Please say a daily prayer for manong. for his safety and wellness. and that his children may realize how much their father needs them now.
manong, ingat ka. sana okay ka lang. sana magkita pa tayo ulet...
daneli's whining
|8:35 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Sunday, July 03, 2005
` 9:24 PM
nung 9-6 pa ang shift ko, FX ang transpo ko. madalas konti lang ang pasahero. minsan pa nga, ako lang. para akong nagtaxi pero P10.00 lang binayad ko. ganda di ba? pagka-ganun, sa unahan ako pumupwesto. tapos chinichika ko si manong driver. tungkol saan? sa pulitika. sa ekonomiya. nakakatuwa kasi nag-iisip ako. parang nasa unibersidad na naman ako. nung mga panahon na kadiskusyon ko ang mga kaibigan at kaklase ko. sino ba ang tama? dapat ba magtaas ng presyo? yan at iba pang mga tanong.
naaalala ko si den at leni, mga kaibigan kong aktibista. madalas, nasa rally sila. lalo na si leni. madalas nababasa sya sa tubig ng bumbero, tumatakbo kapag may dispersion, at, umaakyat sa terasa ng boarding house namin para makapasok dahil madalas wala syang walang. sabi ni den noon, meron silang maliit na papel na dala-dala saan mang rally sila magpunta. sa papel na yun nakasulat ang pangalan at numero ng telepono ng isang abogado. baka daw kasi maabutan sila ng mga pulis. mabuti na ang sigurado na may matatawagan sila. sa kanila ko naririnig ang mga batikos ng kanilang grupo sa administrasyon. sa ibang pananaw, sumasang-ayon ako sa kanila. dapat ng palitan ang mga walang kwenta at kurakot na opisyal ng gobyerno. pero sa usaping ekonomiya, hindi kami nagkikita sa mata. ganunpaman, hindi naman umabot sa pagkakaroon ng piket sa loob ng boarding house ang aming di pagkakasundo sa usaping ito.
sabi ng mga tao, dapat daw itaas na ang minimum wage. itaas ang pasahod sa mga pinoy. napakagandang adhikain. makakatulong sa mga naghihirap na pinoy. ang siste, pumapasok ang konting nalalaman ko sa ekonomiya. madalas naiisip ko, kung itataas ang sahod, saan babawiin ng mga namumuhunan ang dagdag na sahod? naturalmente, itataas din nila ang presyo ng kanilang produkto at serbisyo. sila pa, hindi sila papayag na mabawasan ang kanilang kinikita. mga kapitalista talaga!
ang naiisip ko, ang pamahalaan ang dapat gumawa ng paraan. magbigay ng trabaho sa mga tao. para tumaas ang kita ng ordinaryong tao. ang siste, dapat ang itataas ng sahod na eto maibalik din sa ekonomiya. naisip ko kasi, yung consumption level ang dapat mabago para gumalaw ang ekonomiya. kung tataasan ang sahod, tataas ang presyo ng bilihin, walang magbabago. ang supply at demand iyon pa rin. kumbaga, the econmy will still be at standstill. dapat tumaas ang consumption level. pag nangyari yun, maiiba ang demand. kikita ang mga kapitalista. wag lang mananamantala, hindi dapat gumalaw ang presyo ng mga mga serbisyo at bilihin. kung gagalaw man, dapat bumaba ang presyo. consumption, ibig sabihin, ang expenditure pattern ng mga tao. kung may extra silang pinagkakakitaan, mas gagastos ang tao. mas maraming pera sa ekonomiya, mas maraming negosyo.
kaya, hindi dagliang pagtaas ng sahod ang kailangan. panandaliang lunas lang yun sa matagal ng sakit ng ekonomiya natin. halos wala rin namang magandang epekto yun dahil may kasabay din namang pagtaas ng iba't ibang gastusin. ang mas dapat bigyang lunas, ang malalang problema sa gobyerno. sabi nila, wala daw pera ang pamahalaan. naisip ko lang, sampung tao sa kumpanya namin, magbabayad ng P1,500 na tax sa isang payment period, P15,000 kaagad yun. sa isang buwan, P30,000 yun. sampung tao lang yun ng isang kompanya. saan napupunta yun? ang ibig sabihin, may pera. ang mas magandang tanong, saan at kaninong bulsa napupunta yun? kung sa atin at konomiya mapupunta yun, dapat tumaas ang consumption level.
ngayon gusto nilang palitan si gloria, na naging pangulo dahil pinatalsik natin si erap. pag naalis si gloria, sinong papalit? si noli? si loren? o si susan? ang problema kasi sa mga pulitiko natin, ang gusto nila, sila o partido nila ang manguna. maaaring mali nga ang palakad ni gloria, marahil dapat nga syang palitan. pero sino? at kapag nangyari ba yun, may magyayari ba sa 'pinas? baka sa kung saang jueteng-kankungan lang tayo pulutin.
hindi ako isang ekonomista. di ko pa nga natatapos ang kursong business economics pinatalsik na ako sa UP School of Economics. di ko daw kasi abot ng utak ko ang utak ni Mareng Winnie. kaya hindi ko alam kung tama ang paniniwala ko. Hindi rin ako isang political analyst. kaya hindi din pananaw ng isang eksperto ang mga sinasabi ko dito. isang normal na tao po lamang ako. gusto ko lang isulat ang mga ito, mga ideya at usapin na nabuo dahil sa pakikipag-usap ko sa ilang drayber ng FX na nasakyan ko. sa inyo mga manong, masarap man ang ating usapan, pasensya na bababa na po ako sa kanto...
den, leni, ano kaya sasabihin nyo? palagay ko, matutuwa kayo. dahil hindi pa tigang ang utak ko. buhay pa rin pala ang dugong iska sa katawan ko.
sa inyo mga kaibigan, marahil di kayo sanay na ganito ang timpla ng sinusulat ko. matagal ko nang gustong isulat to. mga isang buwan na. ngayon lang nagkapanahon. hayaan nyo, babalik din sa dati ang timpla ko.
daneli's whining
|9:24 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by
Friday, July 01, 2005
` 9:19 PM
i've been meaning to update my blog for the past week but restrictions set by the bosses above me, higher beings that they are, won't allow me to access my blog control panel to do so. so to those people who actually care enough to browse through what i feel like saying, i'm sorry if you're tired of seeing the same thing the past week or so...
first stop, June 24, 2005 marks my parent's 26th wedding anniversary. mom, dad, i just want you to know how proud i am of you. i feel blessed to have you two as my angels here on earth. when i feel like love is just but a word and falling in love is an unchartered territory, i just look at the two of you and see how it should be. certainly not perfect, not always happy, not always the kilig moment that we would want it to be, but what i see is love. a matured and tested love. in my selfish self, i envy you mom. for having dad. the way he would look at you with that fondness and twinkle in his eyes, that knowing look shared between the two of you. i would never know how, but you always surprises dad. you've been together for almost three decades and i know you still amaze him.
second stop. i am changing teams. i have been moved to the hosting team. this decision has surely raised eyebrows.. be it my friends, my teammates or just a colleauge. they just can't fathom why i, a Fax Agent who rarely take calls, do admin works for the team, who have such a great team to work with will decide to leave the safe haven of my cocoon and venture into the unknown. any explanation i have will still get the same response: WHY?!? hmnn. well, surely, i know nothing about hosting or any techie stuff. but i believe that everything you set your mind to learn, you can learn. so that's my mantra starting today. and i do want to learn. i've felt as though i've learned what i needed to learn in the fax team. time to move on. i love the Fax Team. it'll always be a home to me in NSI. but sometimes you want to learn something else. you just dont want to be stuck doing the exact the same thing everyday. we do need to explore our capabilities, test our limits, broaden our horizons. it was a hard decision to do, leaving my comfort zone and reaching for the unknown. i've cried my tears. dried my face. i'm looking straight ahead. wishing, hoping that i would make it. one thing i know, i won't quit without even trying. but i do miss being in the Fax Team. the people i work with, the things that i do.assigning work to everyone and policing everyone. hehehe. i'm kinda the slave-driver you know.
third stop. what the hell am i doing with my life? in 16 days, i am turning 25. and what have i accomplished for myself? nothing. nada. none. such feat! its the middle of 2005. i have set some goals for myself for this year but what have i actually accomplished? nothing. so what is the use of this life for me? what purpose do i serve? its been said that every person was created to play a role in this world. i can't seem to find mine.
hmmn...
daneli's whining
|9:19 PM|
0 angel/s dropped by